Traveling as a couple is the fastest way to get to know each other. Unfortunately, it could make or break relationships. That’s why, they said to travel at least once before settling down.
Traveling as a couple is very different than traveling alone. It may seem easy in the beginning, as you are planning the trip. But once you arrive at your destination, you may discover that you both don’t see eye to eye on some things.
As we celebrate our seven years church wedding anniversary, I thought I would share some tips for traveling as a couple. Han and I traveled to more than a dozen destinations before we got married. Sure, we had some issues and misunderstandings. But those were minute compared to the moments we have created.
Read also: 10 Dreamy & Romantic Destinations to Visit With Your Partner
How to travel as a couple
1. Respect
I would say respect is my number one tip. No matter what you are going through, whether you are inside or outside the house, whether you are happy or angry, if you maintain that high level of respect for each other, everything will be ok.
Though this may be hard to do when we are in a discussion or fight with our partner. It is still good not to attack each other below the belt. Don’t embarrass them in the public, or shout at them. Don’t create a scene. Don’t play games or give an attitude.
It will not cost you a thing to be nice, kind, and polite!
2. Communicate
Communicate, communicate, communicate. Even when you are not traveling, communication is vital. This is the oxygen of the relationship! No one is a mind reader. You can write on a paper what you want (or most likely what you can afford) from the trip, your airline and hotel of choice, the things you want to do, and the places you want to visit. Your partner will do the same. Compare. Talk about it. Figure it out from there.
3. Talk about the money
Money, money, money… Money is the one thing that can cause an argument quickly. This will always be involved at some point. Everyone seems to have a magic number when it comes to spending when traveling or anything else for that matter.
Make sure you have a budget in mind before you leave for your trip. You can set one budget. Or have a separate budget when it comes to entertainment, dining out, and anything else you want to do while you are away from home.
Luckily, for my husband and me, money has never been an issue when it comes to traveling. Both of us work in the aviation industry. So we pay for our own airline tickets. For visas (if needed), we handle our own visa requirements. And we handle our own insurance. It was easier that way. No mess. For the rest, we compromise. Like if he paid for our hotel, I shouldered the food and transportation.
4. Set expectations.
Set and manage your expectations. For example, if you want to be a budget, mid-range, or luxury travelers. This is not set in stone. You guys can deviate. But at least you guys know where to start.
Don’t demand luxury, if you both can’t afford it. It will just put a strain on your relationship.
5. Learn to compromise
Like any relationship, compromise is necessary. You need to meet halfway. It is not you alone on this trip. There will be times on your couples’ vacation where you will need to compromise to keep both of you happy. So, while you shouldn’t lie to the other person, you may want to concede once in a while and do something they are doing even if you do not want to. Hopefully, they will do the same thing for you. And you may even realize that the compromise was worth it if you end up loving what you were doing.
My husband and I are the exact opposite. We are like water and fire. He likes it slow, and I am like a ball of energy. I just want to go, go, go. Even our packing style is different. The list of our differences goes on and on. But we learned to compromise. And guess what, we complement each other beautifully.
6. Be Honest with Each Other
There is no point in lying to the other person you are traveling with, because it is just going to make things worse in a short amount of time. If you do not want to do something, do not say you will do it. The same goes for dining at a restaurant or anything else you may be tempted to lie about when you are traveling. Honesty is the best policy.
7. Never Play the Blame Game
Something is always going to go wrong when you are traveling, so you might as well plan for it in advance and deal with it instead of playing the blame game.
Giving a person attitude isn’t going to change the situation anyway, so you might as well keep things calm and ensure that you will both be speaking for the remainder of your trip.
8. Ditch your itinerary
Don’t make an hour-by-hour plan, rather a list of places you would want to see. No pressure. And just take it easy. Enjoy the journey
9. Plan for Alone Time
Everyone needs a little alone time each day and you should plan for an hour or two when you are traveling together as a couple. One of you may want to take a nap, while the other heads down to the pool. There are so many things you can do with your alone time, just make sure you are doing things alone for the best results.
10. Choose Separate Activities when Necessary
Not everyone enjoys doing the same things, so you may find that you must choose separate activities occasionally when you are traveling together. One of you may want to check out the local museum or watch a performance, while the other person wants to go for a hike or a boat ride. There is nothing wrong with doing things separately when you are on vacation, as long as you both agree that you do not want to do what the other person is doing.
To be honest, we have never done separate activities when traveling as a couple. Even if my husband doesn’t like a certain activity, he would come with me because ‘I’ liked it and he would want to experience it with me. And I do the same thing for him. Again, we compromise. it’s all up to you.
11. Try Something New
When you are traveling, there is bound to be something that you both have not done before. This is the time for you to both try something new, whether it is a cooking class, surfing, learning how to ride a horse, or even visiting a beach where you tan in the nude. You never know what a new opportunity will allow you to experience, so embrace them as much as you can.
12. Skip Work-Related Items
The point of this couples’ vacation is probably to reconnect with each other, so it is not the time to check in with work or finalize a few projects. Leave work behind and don’t give in to the temptation of checking your emails. Instead, use this time as you should, which is spending time with the person you are traveling with.
Actually, we have never skipped work-related items. LOL. I added this tip for couples who wanted to reconnect. Anyway, since I used to work at the same company as he does, talking about work is inevitable. Plus our lifestyle revolves and depends on our work. We also check our emails and social media because we have important and urgent matters to attend to even when traveling. We just don’t give each other a hard time when we work while traveling.
13. Take Lots (and lots) of Pictures
You may be tempted to rely on your memory when you are on vacation but imagine how much better your memory will be if you can look at pictures! You can take pictures of each other, but make sure there are plenty of selfies in there, or pictures taken by fellow travelers or strangers.
14. Fall in love… over and over again
The romance that travel brings to life is unfathomable. Fall in love over and over again in many ways.
15. Be patient
You guys are not on the same wavelength. So be patient. What comes to you fast, may take time for the other to assimilate or understand.
16. Have fun
Don’t forget to enjoy and have fun. If you are not having fun, then there is something wrong. Go back to my first few tips, and communicate!
Where to travel as a couple
« 10 Dreamy & Romantic Destinations to Visit With Your Partner.
« Best Honeymoon Destinations in Asia.
On a final note…
These are my best tips for traveling as a couple. Each one will allow you to experience the best of traveling as a couple, so you can have an amazing time at each destination you choose to visit. Life is tough at times, and no couple is without its flaws. The most important thing is you got to get through life together.
What are your tips for traveling as a couple?
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This is great! I have traveled with my husband and boyfriends in the past and I do already follow the rules. I liked the point about setting expectations. This is great, especially if discussed beforehand so that everyone is happy with the outcome.
Sounds like you’ve got to be open and respectful! Nice tips.
I am afraid of traveling with anyone. I love traveling alone. But these points sound legit!
Could identify immediately with your thoughts there. Traveling together as a couple is all about sharing and understanding to make the experience even more enjoyable.
This is an excellent list of realistic guidelines, especially the need to be understanding.
I hardly see posts on this topic. I agreed with all the points, especially the first one. If respect isn’t there, no matter how much you spend or travel with your partner, you can’t enjoy the trip as much as you could.
Lovely post Carmen. You are right, money should definitely be discussed so you are both on the same page. And I love that you advocate time alone and separate activities. Couples often feel they should do everything together on holiday, but why? Thanks for sharing.
I agree with all you mentioned above. Now I miss travel even more!
My husband and I travel a lot, and we love learning from each place that we visit.
I think it’s great you put communication first, I couldn’t agree more. communication helps you to solve any issue
I like these tips! It’s really hard to travel as a couple I find. I usually does the planning up front and my husband just executes and makes sure we are on time and pack everything etc. it works for us
We used to travel at least once or twice a year away from all and enjoy the time together. We love doing it but since this worldwide situation we cancelled our holiday getaway.
Thanks for sharing, which reminds me that I haven’t been on a couple getaway with my hubby for a while.
These are some great tips! I enjoy traveling with my husband…having no disagreements in a trip is impossible but falling in love over and over again is definitely possible.
As I was reading through these tips, I kept thinking these are things to apply to one’s relationship even when you are not traveling. If you practice these things daily, it will be easier to do when traveling. I feel like the tip I need to practice most is ‘Ditch your itinerary’. I find it hard not to plan everything but I must learn to.
This is a good post ! I’ve heard this so many times, you really learn about someone after you travel/live with them and it can make or break a relationship. Also really good tips, thanks for sharing.
My husband and I go on vacation together. I think doing an activity on your own if your spouse doesn’t want to do it can be a good idea if its something you’d really like to do. We use an itinerary as a guide, but definitely don’t totally stick to it!
It’s hard to do #9 & 10, but I can see how they would make frequent travel more enjoyable.
Me and my wife plan to travel this Christmas – first time as a married couple and to forget what’s been a tough year. These thoughtful tips will be handy. Thanks.
Really good tips ! Yes most important things to understand each others ! Thank you for sharing such an amazing article
These are some great tips. I don’t know what we’d do if we ditched our itinerary though! We like to see as much as possible while we travel but we leave enough time at each place to enjoy it for a bit.